The Black Calendar :Turning 30


Turning 30 has become such a big deal. One must write down all the things they have achieved and the outstanding life goals. According to social age calendar (and those who have contributed to its mess), at age 30 you should have bought car (almost paying it off), bought a house (3 months living in it), finished your masters (because, well how in the world will that house and car be paying for themselves) and lastly, your partner must be ready to part ways with a minimum of R85K just for lobola. In an ideal world this is a reality and for those who have achieved this, I’d like to say, congratulations and to those who fell short I say, tread carefully.


There is nothing wrong into “having it all” if “all” is what you want and your partner is on the same page as you. However, if none of ya’ll are not on the same page or the same book let alone the same library, bye Felicia! We (I mean women) have been programmed to breathe, eat, live and desire marriage over personal happiness and goals. Where else “our better halves” are not even bothered. For the past 5 years, my aunt has been asking me, “when am I getting married?” and this year is the year. 2018 is the year I tell her NEVER!!!


I mean, I feel like women have been treated like trained seals to want marriage and validated by one, whilst the guys are living lavida loca!! My friends cringe and some have sour faces for just mentioning the word lenyalo, some feel like it’s unnecessary and outdated. I don’t blame them, nobody has ever showed them the benefits of marriage (esp. when they are old and almost dying), and no one has ever drilled the importance of marriage or filled their hearts with believing in eternal love. So how will they choose eternal love over a weekend filled with bad decisions and lust when love is already foreign to them?


When a man gets married at age 44 to a 32 year old we say, “He waited for the right one” and if you’re a 44 year old woman getting married to a 46 year old man we say “they’ve been living together for 20 years, why are they wasting money with a ceremony”?  The double standard struggle is real and consumes the best of us. So if turning 30 this year is causing you stress, sleepless nights and heartburn, it’s not the age causing all of that, it’s what you were programmed to believe in the essence of turning 30. As long as you achieve what you want, do what feels write to you and you are happy, live on and do you boo boo!!

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